Parenting James: Five Months Later and Facing a New Battle

I last wrote about James in May. As expected, it’s taken three weeks into the school term and I’m writing about him again. That’s not surprising considering the last five posts have mostly centred around his school life.

Parenting James: Learning Again, Living With Trauma, and What the Diagnosis Really Means

James has been with his new tutor for three weeks. We didn’t know how it would go. He spent the weekend before the first session begging me to cancel it. His anxiety was through the roof. He didn’t want to go back to anything that looked or sounded like school.

We didn’t cancel. We adjusted. We started at 10am instead of 9.30am so he had space to breathe. That shift made the difference. He met G. They talked. They found a rhythm and lesson interests. She explained that learning didn’t have to be at a table, actively involving worksheets, or be the rigid routine that broke him. They could go out, explore, and learn in the world. Whatever sparked his interest. Lessons, resources, and routines all built around him. 

End of Home Ed: A New Adventure

When William entered mainstream education (Year R) he started at the top of his class but by the end of the academic year he was bottom.

Behaviourally Will went from being enthusiastic, engaging and carefree to upset, anxious and emotional. He would have massive emotional outbursts heading to school and subsequently needed dragging in.

Within the schooled environment his behaviour become worse. There were incidents between him and other children and his responses were labelled "abnormally aggressive".

As a teacher (and also working with Ofsted) I knew the school's practices and policies that should have been in place to safeguard and support him. However they became defensive and hostile in response to having their flaws highlighted.

William's mum decided that Home Schooling would be the best option.

The End of Home Ed

 

For the last 6 years I feel like I’ve become a champion for home education. I feel I have shown that home ed is and can be the right decision for thousands of children up and down the country.

I hope somewhere that I’ve shown that it is more than a lifestyle choice like many assume and that it’s actually more a parenting choice; a choice that suits the child’s individuality.

When I first started Home Education I have to admit that I wasn’t keen on doing it. As a primary teacher I’ve seen home educated children enter my class and need some extensive support. I instantly, and wrongly, assumed it was poor education. The only thing that made me feel better about doing it was knowing my own ability as a teacher, the resources I knew how to get and use and that I would follow appropriate guidelines and curriculum.

Ignorantly I wouldn’t be “one of those parents".

Home Education opened my eyes to the idea of child led learning. The concepts of extra curricular learning that go beyond standard curriculum set up. It showed me that children can learn by living and learning an experience first hand rather than from a whiteboard and textbook. We spent time in environments like Fruit and Vegetable shops to discover healthy living, visited drinks manufacturers to see how everything is made and experienced first-hand animal care at vets; all experiences that wouldn’t have happened in classroom environments.

Home Education: Williams Progress

I’m really proud of Will and how well he is doing in his schooling. 

Looking back it hasn’t always been easy to educate him at home. 

6 years ago we took Will out of school and started our Home Ed journey. 

A Positive Start

Back to school has pretty much happened for everyone now.

I’ve seen everyone have very mixed feelings about the kids going back.

Me? 

I’m not that bothered. 

Timing, Routine and Free Learning for Home Learning

With the school closures happening as we predicted the thought of teaching the children at home has hit many hard.

For those who have read my previous post I hope that it’s useful and filled you with some encouragement.
However, I’m aware that it wasn’t as clear cut as I initially thought. Some parents have raised a few questions that I need to address.

Teaching through the Coronavirus

The world has gone a little crazy at the moment with the outbreak of Coronavirus.

I can understand why everyone is worried and panicking a little; this is a new virus and the rate that it is spreading is incredible.

At the moment of writing this the current status from the government is to “stay calm", to self isolate if you have symptoms of a new and persistent cough or if you have a fever at 38° or above. They have advised that all mass gatherings be cancelled so there isn’t a grouped spread of the virus and that adults above 70 and people who are medically vulnerable should isolate from now on (up to 12 weeks)

I’m sure at some point over the next 2 weeks schools will close. This will probably happen when the country or the most severe areas are approaching the peak affected number.

This then would leave a lot of parents “stuck" in a difficult position.

As an ex-teacher and a Home Ed parent I still think children should carry on with some education even if they are at home.

Our Week in Home Ed

Some of you may have noticed that there wasn't a home ed post last week. 

To be honest Home Ed went out the window the last 2 weeks because Will has been unwell. 

He was super tired the first week and looked pale so ended up sleeping a lot. Then this week he ended up with a stomach bug that put him out of action for a few days.

However, we have managed to do a fair bit to catch up. So here's what we managed to do:

Our Week in Home Ed

Home Ed this week has been quite enjoyable. 

We started this week with Hannah's parents here. Although Hannah and her dad went out, Will and I stayed at home with Hannah's mum and did our home ed. It was quite nice to show a little snapshot of what it's like. Even if it was a little difficult at times. 

It was, however, a good excuse to throw ourselves into it first thing Monday.

10 Minute Lessons

We’ve had to change how we teach William.

William is no different to a lot of children I’ve taught over the years.

They get to a certain age and they become defiant with different aspects of schooling.

The most common areas are Literacy and Numeracy.
With Literacy it is usually a combination of writing and reading. By Year 5 and 6 they have hit the point where they’re no longer reading to progress. They’ve passed the Biff and Chip book phase, they’re on to free reading and the books are generally bigger.

A lot of the time it is a combination of finding it tedious and slightly overwhelming. They have to read throughout every lesson in one form or another. They can cope with that. Yet, you give them a book and is suddenly a big ask.

Our Week in Home Ed

Home Ed this week has been really busy. It's also been a bit of a slog at the beginning of the week straight after half term but I often find that the busier we are the easier it is to get over the initial slog. 

This week has also been one of those "less adventurous" weeks where our lessons seem to be in the middle and they're a tad dull compared to other weeks. That said, I still feel like we've achieved a lot.

Our Week in Home Ed

Home Ed this week has been really busy. 

We've had a week were we have had to fit life in around our lessons but we have, in some ways, managed to fit it in.

Our Week in Home Ed

Home Ed is great at the moment. We seem to be covering lots of different topics and importantly Will seems do be learning lots and progressing really well.

Although I usually post photos across social media I know I don't share even half of what we do. Equally, I used to feature any main topic highlights on here but, again, it still didn't show what a week in Home Ed was like for us.

So, I thought I would do a new weekly feature where we show exactly what we've been doing.

The Problem with James

I suppose the title to this post is completely misleading because, quite frankly, there isn’t a problem with James; at least for the people who know him there isn't.

James has always been James; bright, bubbly, fun-loving, sensitive, funny and often at times brutally critical of me (Much to everyone’s enjoyment when I share what he has said)

When he was a baby it was a rough time for both his mum and I as we were in the middle of separating and having to deal with the rubbish that goes with it. Most of my readers will know that through the years we ended up focused and looking forward to having the great co-parenting relationship that we have but at the beginning it was very different.

To add to that upheaval James, at 6 months old, ended up in hospital after an incredibly bad asthma attack; it left him so weak and looked incredibly vulnerable.

Brick History at The Historic Dockyard, Chatham



I often receive emails asking if we are interested in going to one event or another and although I think many would like these events I usually turn them down if they either don’t strike something we would all be interested in as a family or are not educational for Home Ed.

It has always just been something that I have done and never mean it to be a negative to the event we have been invited to.

Recently, The Historic Dockyard, Chatham contacted us regarding “Brick History;” an event that travels through time exploring 13.8 billion years of the world. Now, admittedly, I have always enjoyed the exhibitions that they hold and as we are currently studying Castles and what they were made of, clever clogs over here thought learning about history of bricks that it would fit quite nicely.

Well, as many of you would enjoy, I was wrong; not that learning about how bricks were made wouldn’t be a great exhibition to visit but the truth behind the exhibition itself was surprising and cool…

Back to a Tailor made Education

It has now been a little over a month since James has started school.

I have always believed that every child is an individual. Everything about them can make them unique and their education isn’t any different.

As a class teacher we had to assess each child and within that separate them into groups according to their ability. It works the majority of the time; you end up with 3 or 4 small groups within the class and work is set to that ability. It sounds so seemingly perfect but the truth is that many children don’t fit the groups you produce. These children may show that they have a greater understanding than children in Group B but are quite far behind some of their peers in Group A. You, as a teacher, just have to be continually aware of each and every child and adjust where possible. Yet, as mentioned above, every child is unique and it isn’t always possible to suit THEIR exact needs.

Home School - Breaking Down Fat

One aspect of Home Education that I love is the free learning that can come from everyday life.

Recently, the boys and I were cleaning and I was doing the washing up. Whilst doing it William asked with I had to use the washing up liquid and didn’t just rinse the plate under warm water and scrubbed as hard as I could.

For a moment I had to think. I knew the science behind it; Washing up liquid contains detergent molecules. These molecules have a very specific structure with a polar head group and a long hydrophobic (water-hating) tail. When you dissolve the detergent in water, it assembles automatically to form a “supermolecule”. The hydrophobic tails interact with one another and want to hide from the polar water molecules. The charged head group, in contrast, wants to interact with the polar water molecules.

However, I realised that this would totally confuse the boys and wouldn’t explain what happens.

Instead I explained that the liquid helps separate the fat and oil from the water. Once done it bonds between the two; one creating a “fat and oil” layer and the other water.

Although the boys understood this I felt that we needed to cover it within a science lesson!

With that in mind I remember a simple but effective science experiment!

Half Term: Diggerland Kent

We are extremely lucky and have so many great attractions on our doorstep. As many of you know we try and visit as many of these landmarks and attractions throughout the year as possible; from days out to the seaside, visiting castles or just some random exploration of local woods. Kent seems to be full of child related activities. 

One attraction locally has always appealed to us and I don't know why we haven't been before! 

Diggerland Kent is literally 5 minutes away from us but can be found off of the M2 for signs of Rochester. 

It is known for it's great family days out and even won several awards at the Kent Digital awards (Where I was lucky to meet many of their team!)

The lovely Hannah and the two children were with us again this half term trying to integrate the children, and us, into the future of us being a blended family and although the day to day activities and normal activities seems to be going really well we realised that we haven't tried to do the "family day out" experience with all four children!

We thought Diggerland fitted all of this criteria and provide us all with a lovely day out!

*Be warned this is a photo heavy post. But, how else are we meant to show you the great time without showing all the fun stuff we got up to!*

Reading when Ready with Reading Eggs

As a class teacher I would have sworn by our education system; it was clearly allowing children to progress and achieve at whatever cost.

As a Primary school teacher and having responsibilities over KS1 I was often found in learning material and termly tracking charts for not only my own class but for others too. In essence, although quite demanding, the tracking of pupil’s in subjects like Literacy showed not only the child’s ability but also the teacher’s strengths and highlighted key lesson components that were either successful or failing. In the latter scenario you could see that the whole class were struggling with understanding and you could find other plans, techniques and activities to bridge that gap. I always found this great and allowed me as a teacher and overseer of other classes to push children to their maximum capability.